If My Name Was Liam I Would Fake an Exotic Accent to Get Laid

I discovered a walrus living in my freezer. I beat it to death with my ex-girlfriend's femur (I don't know why the femur was still in my apartment, you'd think she would have taken it with her when she left), then I took the walrus out to a nice restaurant, but I made it pay the bill.

When you are sleeping I will evolve into a bird, then devolve into a reptile. When you wake up you will be upset by my lidless eyes staring down at you.

The scent of Bubble Yum makes me horny.

I love you so much that I want to use a rusty box cutter to slice you open from your cunt to your chin, then hollow your body out and build a pillow fort inside you. I will be a king inside your body. When I get tired of the fort I will fill the cavity with whisky and swim around in it. First I will have to learn to swim.

Fuck you! I look good in this hat.

I wish I was a dog because then no one would be really mad when I piss on their carpet.

Your eyes make me want to dismantle the stars and suffocate the moon. No one really needs those things anyway.

The thing about the Walrus was a lie. I paid the bill (but I made him get the tip).

A Primer on Finding God in the Details

This, is my favorite of all the poems I wrote in the years 2005 - 2013

A Primer on Finding God in the Details

I camp in the tree outside your window and shave with broken glass so that you wont hear the ants eating their way out through my skin. I want to apologize to my blood. It isn't the blood's fault that it keeps me alive. In fact, if my blood had any choice in the matter I am certain that it would flee my body and go live in a Golden Retriever on a farm somewhere. Through the window I watch you undress. Your body is too small for your size and I want to gut you, hollow you out and live inside your hollowed out body. Someday I will give up on this. For now I will watch you sleep and think about dismantling your eyes.

Listen to Elliot Smith and think about how stars die alone in the vacuum of space. They must get terribly sad . Imagine their pleas to no one and find that you are well on your way to believing in nothing. Western literature has primed you for nihilism. Mort de Credit . You strip naked and walk along a wire made of walrus entrails and use an umbrella to balance. Below you is a flaming lake of dying stars.

I decamp from your tree and move to Tupelo where the news tells of a Rhinoceros escaped from the zoo terrifying the poorer residents of the town's outskirts communities where they live in mud huts and shotgun shacks. To feel clean, even, straight, I shave my head and get a tattoo that says "There is No Magic" across my forearm. The tattoo artist has a lisp and almost misspells my ink. I want to gut him and hollow him out and live inside his body drinking cheap whisky all day. Instead I look for a job sweeping up after eyeless men in a bar downtown. It is my job to maintain the dank. It's a decorating choice.

You will find yourself looking out your window, naked and not hollowed out, searching your tree for my shape, which is your shape with more meat, and wishing that I was still there. Fuck you, though. I've moved on.

I collect snakes and carnival glass and green stamps and dream of a day when I will be able to forget your broken, bruised, small frame. On the street a man with squid tentacles in place of his face asks me for a dollar to buy a drink and I give him the razor blades from my pocket. Every night, alone in my apartment drinking Four Roses I call the Eff Bee Eye and confess to being the Zodiac killer. This despite the fact that Zodiac started killing four years before I was born and despite the fact that I have never seen San Francisco. They want to believe me.

Everyone needs something to believe in. Even dying stars must think of something greater than themselves as they collapse into singularity. They can take solace in knowing that their mass will curve space-time and draw a colloquy of matter to its end. The crows understand this instinctively.

I deserve a little more.

I am trash, but even trash needs to be wanted or loved. We discard it to the politic worm and the men who will siphon methane to power factories that make the machineries of death. Like the stars, your used cup from Starbucks deserves the belief that it serves a higher purpose. Maybe enough Starbucks cups could warp space-time and pull us all into oblivion.

Maybe we would mistake all those discarded cups for God.

More Rubio Scandals

Did Marco Rubio use his political office to grant favors for a major drug traffiker ? It sure seems so.  The more we learn about his friends and finances the more troubling it becomes. But, he's the GOP golden boy!

Links for the new year

Here are the links:

Hillary Clinton Makes Kids Gay

I like OLDMAN CAT

Is Jeb! giving up?

We Miss Calvin and Hobbes

This nails it

Star Wars: The Book

Couch Thing
That's it for now.

Driftglass Gets It

It seems more and more that the only one who understand is Driftglass

As I wrote a few years ago,the brain-caste of the GOP spent a 40 years and billions of dollars carefully breeding an army of reliably angry, paranoid, racists chumps. And they have been so successful at completely re-engineering the Right's ideological digestive system that they can no longer process any information which does not come to them in the form of Fox-approved Benghaaaazi goo.  

In other words, in order to win elections and rake in vast fortunes, the Conservative brain caste has painstakingly created the perfect feeding-ground for con men and demagogues like Trump, the louder and more bombastic the better. And from David Brooks and the Wall Street Journal and "Meet the Press", to Ann Coulter and the Washington Free Beacon and the Breitbart Collective, in one way or another, virtually everyone in the media makes bank by flattering Conservative meatheads and pandering to their delusions.

They are the GOP's premium leads, but however abundant and renewable a resource the Conservative meatheads may be, come Presidential election time, there is never enough room at the trough for every rapacious Republican hog.  This is why every few years we have these Little Red State Fundy moments; that delicate time when the knives come out and the various species of Conservative con men start cutting each other's balls off over who gets to pluck the wingnut pigeons...

...while trying desperately not to call attention to the fact that their entire political system depends on pandering to the army of reliably angry, paranoid, racists chumps which the GOP has worked so long and hard to cultivate...

I know that you are afraid

The economy has recovered. Put that in quotes, though. "Recovered" in that corporations and the very wealthy are doing great. The average worker, however, doesn't feel much recovery. Wages have stagnated. The advent of the 401k in place of a pension means that most people will die working. Retirement is gone. A few very wealthy families own everything and the rest of us fight over scraps from the table. The good jobs have left and they aren't coming back. The safety net has been shredded.

All of this is by design. This is not a bug, it is a feature.

This was the fever dream of Art Laffer and Ronald Reagan and their Plutocrat masters. But don't worry about that. Ignore it.

They know that they can keep doing this, keep redistributing the wealth upward, keep turning Americans into indenture servants as long as they keep you afraid.

FOX news and The Moonies and Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh work for the Koch Bros. They do their bidding and do it well. They've made you afraid of Mexicans who will steal your job because they are too lazy to work and want welfare (?????). Afraid of Muslim terrorists who are stalking your every move and murdering millions of American every year (!!!!!). Afraid of Blacks who are commiting genocide against cops (seriously). Afraid of gays who are forcing you to have hot gay sex (at least, they are forcing Lindsey Graham to have hot gay sex). Afraid of hippes and vegans. Afraid of atheists who will steal XMAS (we atheists are all very much like the grinch).

Stay afraid. Be terrified. Vote Trump (or Cruz, or Rubio, or Jeb! or any of the other corporate tools). Soon you can work 18 hour shifts to get company script to spend in the company store. Just do as you're told and follow the part line.

The hateful Eight 70mm Roadshow

This weekend I went to the Hateful Eight as part of the glorious 70mm roadshow. It was an amazing experience. This is the first 70mm film in fifty years and damn do I hope that the format is going to make a comeback! No film has ever looked so deep, so sharp, so glorious. This movie makes you realize just how shit digital projection is.

American ISIS

Yes, that's what they are. The Amercian version of ISIS.  They work to ensure that their religion is given supremacy over yours.  They shove theocracy into our faces. They take over government offices with idiocy and backwards ideas. They rile up the rubes with lies.  And, I fear that they are winning.

I feel low.

Help the animals

All God's Creatures is a 

small animal rescue and shelter in Columbus, KS. They need your help.

please visit the gofundme page to learn more

Post Republicans

Should Trump cause the Republican party to fracture (as Bill Kristol suggests) it will decidedly split into more than two parties. The current Republican party is made up of groups that truly have nothing in common and no reason to support each other. The party now, as I see it, consists of:

Corporate Fascists
Theocrats
Anarchists
Jingoists
and Other, where other is the hate filled, spiteful bigot class.

How does that shake out? What are the alliances that stick together?

Trump Putin 2016

Thanks to the Kasich campaign for launching Trump - Putin 2016. Even so, can such satire have any effect in this world?

The Force Awakens

Star Wars The Force Awakens is a triumph! I will not offer spoilers, nor will I delve too deeply into plot. Rather, I simply want to plant a flag and say that this installment is better than Return of the Jedi. For those keeping score at home, that makes the rankings order:

1. The Empire Strikes Back
2. A New Hope
3. The Force Awakens
4. Return of the Jedi

The various novelty films (e.g. Ewoks the Battle for Endor, The Phantom Menace, etc) don't really deserve ranks and are better forgotten.

My Prediction for the best picture Oscar

Nominations are still in the future. Making predictions at this point is a fool's game. I am a fool! The Academy Award for best picture will go to Mad Max: Fury  Road. Just wanted to get that out there now.

Scalia and his confederate tendencies

Antonin Scalia is an unreconstructed bigot. That goes without saying, yet he keeps saying it. The Supreme Court may well dismantle the last vestiges of Affirmative Action to mollify an entitled moron who didn't earn an admission to even a crap school. Being white is not a qualification.  The court is being asked to rule that a black student with good grades and test scores should be denied a place in a university to make way for an obviously slow witted slacker simply because said nim-wit is white.

Fucking hell.

Marco Rubio Sex Scandal

Is this for real? Is a sex scandal involving Marco Rubio about to break? I'm starting to see this mentioned a lot. If so, it would spell the end of Rubio's campaign. It may also spell a Trump nomination, as the Republicans will have no one (save the patently unelectable Ted Cruz) left to challenge his dominance.

Piketty and the inequality of wealth

This article at Crooked Timber is a must read.

On the ideological front, several theories served to rationalized policy shifts in favor of increasing capital shares and top labor incomes. The stagflation of the 1970s was successfully blamed on Keynesian economics, fiscal irresponsibility, a bloated welfare state, militant labor unions, state regulation of the economy, and supposedly incentive-destroying high marginal tax rates on capital incomes and the rich. At the same time, the ideology of maximizing shareholder value took hold. Corporate executives who formerly lived merely like an especially comfortable middle class, and who gained prestige from sharing rents widely among corporate stakeholders, narrowed their focus to serving capital interests exclusively, and obtained compensation packages that tied their fates to that goal alone.

Elizabeth Anderson does a great job discussing the economic work of Piketty and dissecting the policies that lead to income inequality.